you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
