Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
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currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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