i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
there's paper in my vomit.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize