I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
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Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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