At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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