put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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