They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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