Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
