You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We're too hungover to prance.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize