im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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