Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
