I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
