Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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