Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
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I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
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I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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