Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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