"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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