And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize