She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
