Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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