Your dad touched me again.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
