how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
