Midget sex pt 2 tonight
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
