I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
