i permit you to call me
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
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everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
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Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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