Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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