I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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