You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
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My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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