Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
