I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
