She went from zero to smokin in five shots
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
