he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
