i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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