Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
