I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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