he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
