**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
its not stalking. its research.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
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He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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