i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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