yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize