My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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