It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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