I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
it was like eating out sand paper
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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