Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
about cumming, not toast
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick