hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.