He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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