Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
