I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
