worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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