Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize