So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The best revenge is premature balding
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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