So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone stole a lamp last night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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