Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
