physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I came so hard my ears popped.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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