I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
