I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize