i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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