My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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