Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize