You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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